Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is one of the best movies I have ever seen. It's like it was made just for me. I'm finding it difficult to name something I didn't completely enjoy from this film. I'm serious, it blows every other Spider-Man film out of the water.

The film stars Miles Morales, pretty much as you know him, who gets bitten by a radioactive spider (or at least, it might be radioactive) and stumbles onto a multiverse portal project created by the Kingpin. What he also sees is Spider-Man get killed while trying to shut it down. Out of nowhere he meets what seems to be Spider-Man back from the dead, but is in fact a Peter Parker from one of these parallel universes, who just so happens to have a much worse time of it than the Spider-Man Miles is familiar with. From there we meet Spider-Woman (Spider-Gwen), Spider-Man Noir, Spider-Ham, and Peni Parker with her robot SP//dr. They go out to shut down Kingpin's experiment while Miles learns how to be the Spider-Man he has to be.

Visually, it's a feast for the eyes. It borrows comic book aesthetics and certain tropes, like narration boxes for internal monologues and onomatopoeia hanging in midair. It's one of the most inventive and interesting looking animated films I've seen in the last decade. It doesn't just try to copy panel structures without bothering to figure out what makes them work, (like some other directors coughSnydercough) it takes just enough to feel like reading your favorite comic but transforms it into something entirely new. The various Spider-People all look unique and fit their respective universes without being out of place with their fellows. Spider-Ham is Warner Bros. cartoony, Noir is eternally in black and white, but when they stand together it just works. The finale is an amazing spectacle, as they tend to do in these superhero films, but not once did I have trouble distinguishing the action or get bored from just too much stuff.

The writing is phenomenal. None of the Spider-Men is a one-for-one recreation of a Spider-Man you may know and love (save for maybe Spider-Gwen) but it doesn't matter. Phil Lord and Christopher Miller just get it. Sometimes it seemed like other filmmakers didn't get Spider-Man the same way I do, but these guys? They do. I can't stress this enough, when they look at Spider-Man they understand everything I think of and what makes the character so important to me. The main Peter Parker of the film, played by Jake Johnson, is washed up, depressed, divorced, fat, not financially solvent, and yet he's still a perfect Spider-Man. All the retcons in the world can't net you the true feeling of an authentic human Spider-Man. It's the polar opposite of Dan Slott's CEO Spider-Man, and gets right everything that portrayal got wrong. He doesn't have to be a super-smart successful owner of a Fortune 500 company, he just needs one trait. When Spider-Man is knocked down, he always gets back up.

Our main character, however, is Miles Morales, and I am so glad they went with him. For one, it's his first appearance in a film, so we don't have to see yet another Peter Parker origin story. He's a perfect newcomer, a breath of fresh air, so when other Peter Parkers show up, it's someone who knows about Spider-Man the same way the audience does. Finally we get an origin movie that is more than just an origin story. They don't just set Miles up so he can possibly do more interesting things later, this story is interesting and thrilling and new and also just so happens to contain an origin story as well. It doesn't contain some nobody uninteresting villain just because you have to have one of those in a superhero movie. It's everything I found wanting in every Marvel movie made so far. I can't believe the same company that made the goddamn Emoji Movie made this.

The film is peppered with little easter eggs and references to Spider-Man lore, so much that I'd have to watch the movie a few more times to get even half of them. (Don't worry, I absolutely will.) And what's so refreshing is that you don't need to know all of these trivial facts to enjoy the film, and they aren't the sole reason it was made. (Solo anyone?) It's genuine care and, dare I say it, love for the character, for his legacy and for all the cool ideas associated with him.

I was afraid, going in, that this would copy Dan Slott's Spider-Verse series in the comics, with some weird group of Spider-Man eating vampires and then they all just kinda show up to fight them and it doesn't make a lot of sense. Thankfully, they just took the base idea and the title. It's more akin to the finale of the Spider-Man Animated Series from the 90's where he meets a bunch of alternate selves. Just without Madame Web, THANK GOD. Comic-wise, it's a lot like Bendis' Spider-Men series, where Miles meets a more experienced adult Spider-Man and you get some real growth between the two. Truth be told it doesn't directly adapt any comic, which I'm thankful for, since a lot of times all you can do it draw comparisons between the two, which waters down the adapted work.

If I had to nitpick SOMETHING (and let's face it, I do.) it's really just one thing. Spider-Man Noir and Peni Parker don't get a lot of development in the movie, with Noir there mostly for jokes about Film Noir and whatnot. I get why they did that, giving each of these characters a full arc would've ruined the pacing, especially since we get so much character from our other Spider-People. In a way, it's actually a positive. It left me wanting more, I would love to see the Spider-Crew travel to the Noir of SP//dr Universes in a sequel.

Obviously I'm incredibly biased, seeing as half the point of this website is to talk about Spider-Man even when (ESPECIALLY when) nobody is even reading, but this movie is a 10/10. 100%. A slam dunk. Criterion collection. A masterpiece. I wish I could marry this movie. If I only had one piece of media to watch for the rest of my life, it would be this film. If you like Spider-Man AT ALL, I highly suggest you watch this movie. Even if you don't like Spider-Man. If life is a hopeless barren waste where all you can see is disappointment and regret, I recommend this film. And I hope to god they make a sequel, and put Lord and Miller in charge again. I would follow those men to the ends of the Earth.



Wait it didn't have the Spider-Signal in it, certified rotten, F grade, it's trash.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse First Trailer

It's that time again! And by that time, I mean a new trailer for a Spider-Man movie has come out, so I know you're all looking to me to tell you what to think about it. Well, here it is:

First of all, it looks great, just visually. It's got a sort of stop-motion feel to the CG, like the Lego Movie, which worked really well there and might just as well for this considering it's more comic-oriented art style. I like the colors and the motion blur on stuff like the subway train. So no complaints there.

Storywise, it's pretty obviously got Miles Morales as Spider-Man this time, and his story might be a direct adaptation of Ultimate Comics Spider-Man, seeing as how he walks up to a grave that's probably Peter Parker's.

He can't have been Spider-Man for too long, because his suit looks like he just made it, what with the kinda slipshod spray paint spiders on it.

He's chasing someone who appears to be the Prowler in one shot, so it being a mostly unchanged Ultimate Miles Morales makes sense.

But now the baseless speculation. At the end, he's talking to someone in the subway, and says, "Wait, how many of us are there?" I'm gonna make a guess here and say that's Peter Parker from an alternate universe, like Spider-Men. Given that the title is the same as the universe-crossing Spider-Man story, it's possible they're combining Spider-Men and Spider-Verse into one movie, where first Miles meets the regular alternate Peter Parker, but eventually it leads into some universe hopping adventure.

When it shows the title, you see flashes of different spider symbols, like one where it's a heart with legs coming out of it, or the traditional logo, before getting to Miles' spray paint spider.

If it turns out the film's going that route, I would honestly be surprised. In a comic this would make sense, because comics always have that alternate universe shit, but in a film it's a lot less prevalent, and probably a little risky. That might be because Sony Pictures is making this one, instead of Marvel like Homecoming. At any rate, I'd love to see more standalone films like this, like say, perhaps a Spider-Man 2099 film? I can dream.

Secret Wars? More like SECRET BORES

Here we friggin' go goddamn again.

If you follow this crap at all, you're likely already aware that Marvel comics is planning to reboot its universe in the upcoming crossover event, Secret Wars. No no, not the good one they did in the Spider-Man cartoon, this is a new one that makes a lot less sense. In this, all the disparate universes of the Marvel uh, universe are being smashed together, so then there's only one. You know, nothing at all like that one famous DC story where the exact same thing happens.

You all know how I feel about reboots. Especially ones of this sheer scale. After regarding this announcement with indignation, I began to wonder: Why? Was continuity really a big problem for Marvel? It seemed in lieu of reboots, they just launched different initiatives, like Marvel NOW! or All-New Marvel NOW! Is this really a problem that couldn't be fixed by restarting all the issues' numbers and labeling it All-New Absolutely Original We Mean It This Time Marvel RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! Well, speculation on why Marvel is undergoing a Crisis of Infinite Bullshit is already underway.

The Ultimate Universe, the rebelling younger sibling of Marvel, has been on, shall we say, a downward trend lately. And by that I mean it went from quite a few titles, like X-Man, Iron Man, Ultimates, and Spider-Man, to pretty much just Spider-Man. This is more than likely because nobody bought anything that wasn't Ultimate Spider-Man, so titles routinely got axed. Now they've come up with a way to just do away with the separate publishing line and jam Miles Morales in with everyone else people know from movies. I would say this misses the point of the Ultimate Universe, a way to just retell stories with a new lens and different inspiration, but that went out the window the moment Spider-Men became a thing.

Other sources of speculation say this is just to turn the comic universe into the movie universe, so everyone can taste that sweet, sweet blockbuster money. Publisher Dan Buckley has said this would be virtually impossible, and I guess he's right. There is, however, one thing people have mentioned that certainly seems more likely, if not more reasonable. That is: to get rid of the X-Men from Marvel Comics.

If you don't obsessively follow this stuff, you might not be aware that as far as film licenses are concerned, Marvel doesn't own the X-Men. Fox has the rights and seems very recalcitrant in bids to relinquish them. One would think that comics and movies could exist independently, without a comic publisher making any rash moves because the studio branch can't access certain characters. But no, Marvel is pretty mad. So mad, in fact, that writers are banned from making new X-Men characters as Chris Claremont revealed last year.

Rumors have surfaced of a kind of X-Men embargo within the publisher, which seems supported by the recent Death of Wolverine and Inhuman stories. Death of Wolverine makes sense, kill the cash cow character so Fox can't turn that into movie-bucks. The whole Inhuman thing is a bit more complex. In-story, the terragen mists responsible for giving the original Inhumans their powers were released on earth, giving random people various superpowers. These (un)fortunate individuals were quickly seen as a menace, distrusted by their families and communities, and have to hide their powers to keep their normal lives. Sound familiar? They can have their persecuted superhero cake and eat it too. Once they've banished X-Men from current canon, Inhumans can fill in the slack.

Of course, the most reasonable explanation for this is that it will garner the most treasured asset a publisher could hope for, the fabled New Readers. Any reboot is really aiming for that, when you get down to it. The problem is, I think Marvel is trying to lure in old readers too with some continuity porn in the process. It's a chicken-or-egg question at this point, but it looks like this is going to be a whole lot like Spider-Verse, but with everyone. Cap-Verse, Thor-Verse. Universe-Verse.

So yeah. Marvel wants to revitalize its line by copying something DC did back in 1985. It really doesn't matter much if it's good or not, a shitload of people are buying it no matter what. At the very least it'll be interesting to see what really motivated this. Man, I sure can't wait to read all the new #1 issues of comics I don't care about anymore!

NYCC 2012: Superior Spider-Man Preview

Yes! What you've been waiting for! I attended the panel entitled: Marvel NOW!: Amazing Spider-Man and Beyond. What's Beyond you ask? Well, it's the Superior Spider-Man.

Yes, after Amazing Spider-Man #700 and the cataclysmic events within, the Amazing Spider-Man series will be cancelled, to be replaced by Superior Spider-Man next January. Oh, and the kicker, this Superior Spider-Man is not Peter Parker.

When I first heard this, I was livid! How could they kill off another Spider-Man?! Not another Death of Spider-Man! I couldn't take that. But, you know, after the panel, I think my fears are somewhat assuaged.

First of all, Dan Slott and Steve Wacker made it clear that Peter not being Spider-Man does NOT mean he is dying. What it does mean is still up in the air, but I think I can say with confidence that Peter Parker will still be with us in this Superior series.

Dan Slott also assured the people that this new Spider-Man will not be some random asshole (CoughMilesMoralescough) but instead someone with "Spider-Man pedigree." That alone makes me less apprehensive about the storyline.

See, with that, it can still be about continuing Peter's story, especially if the new Spider-Man is still connected to Peter. In Ultimate, Peter's story was simply aborted, ended without a solid conclusion, to be replaced by someone we've never seen before.

One criticism that seems common about Superior Spider-Man is that people seem to think it will be "grim and gritty" while in the press release, people like Slott said it would be "dark and weird". I can understand the jumping to conclusions, but in explaining what they meant by "dark and weird" they cited stories like The Death of Gwen Stacy, and Kraven's Last Hunt, which are quintessential Spidey stories.

All that, combined with the fact that I could tell that Dan Slott still really loves Spider-Man, puts me more at ease about this project. I'm eager to see what they're doing, and I only hope Dan Slott doesn't pull another New Ways to Die and make me sad.

In other news, Venom is moving to San Franc-- I mean, Philadelphia! Yes, home of the Liberty Bell and some other stuff I guess. I don't mind him moving from New York, but I really thought the Venom series would involve a lot more exciting locales, like Yopilistan or whatever. I'll have to see how the new writer, Cullen Bunn, does.

A new Morbius: The Living Vampire series is starting, as an exploration of the more occult or supernatural horror aspects of the Marvel Universe. I can get behind that, and Morbius seems like a good enough character to follow.

Oh, and SPECULATION TIME: At one point during the Q&A of the panel, one kid asked why they don't make Spider-Man 2099 stories anymore. Steve Wacker and Dan Slott answered in a strange way, "Oh, you like Miguel O'Hara? You think he's a good Spider-Man?" Yeah, see, I think Superior Spider-Man might be some version of Miguel O'Hara. For example, look at the cover, above. See his hands on the wall? They're more smashed in, like he's using claws to climb instead of sticky fingers. I mean, it's purely speculation at this point, but that's half the fun. Some people think it might be Kaine, but since the Scarlet Spider series will continue after ASM #700, I can safely say that's not a reasonable expectation. But who knows, maybe it's Alpha! Oh god, I hope not. Until next time, this is the W Defender!

Spider-Man Can't Have a Sidekick

Welp. That's it. I quit. This happened. Spider-Man. Gets. A sidekick.

I cannot believe they are doing this. This is such a fundamental mistake, it never even occurred to me that they may make it. I thought they might give him a new costume or something. I thought you couldn't make a worse mistake than Spider-Men. And yet, here we are. Sidekick. I don't know where to start with this.

Spider-Man is not a hero to have a sidekick. He's not the hero that pals around with a kid, making that kid get in the path of bullets. Having a sidekick means willingly putting someone else into a dangerous situation that usually only you would have to deal with. Spider-Man would feel obligated to making sure said kid didn't get hurt during any of the fights or danger, and that would be a hamper to Spider-Man's effectiveness. If the kid definitely won't get hurt, why does he need Spider-Man? The Spider-Man I know wouldn't say, "Oh kid, you got superpowers? Well, time to put on some tights and get shot at!" He knows, himself, how shitty being a superhero is. He wouldn't wish it upon someone else. Yeah, it has its perks, but it ruins his civilian life immensely. If someone is intent upon becoming a vigilante, he's not going to tell them no, but he won't start a long working relationship with them. The minute Spider-Man gets a sidekick is the minute he becomes a father.

See, this is the worst part, it negates the only good part of Brand New Day! I'm not saying it was good, but at the very least it allowed him to start fresh and maybe seem a little younger. This ages him more than anything else could! He's now tethered to this kid like a ball and chain! A sidekick works for Batman because Batman is dark and gritty, so a little innocent kid around helps him see past that and embrace the warmer parts of his character, and the whole fatherhood angle fits in well with the way he protects Gotham City. Plus, Batman trains them like hell to be like him. Spider-Man is meant to be freelance. Look at Spider-Girl. The only reason he lets his daughter go out in spandex and fight crime is because he has no leg, so he can't.

I can understand making a new hero, but don't tie him inextricably with Spider-Man. Spider-Man wasn't about learning lessons because people told you. Spider-Man was about learning the lessons that couldn't be told by making mistakes, and improving, and trying harder each time to do the right thing. He didn't ask adults for help. In fact, most adults were actively trying to stop him or just didn't understand what he was doing. For Spider-Man to then turn around and start giving lessons to some kid who got superpowers is contrary to the point of Spider-Man.

This is why I didn't like the new Ultimate Spider-Man comic or cartoon. In it, Nick Fury is explicitly telling Spider-Man what to do, how to do it, and just giving him school lessons on how to be a superhero. Spider-Man is just handed things and and a lesson plan and he screws up a bit before finally he wins the lesson and Fury is happy with him. This is terrible, because it takes away the freedom of Spider-Man. It takes away his individualism, which is a fundamental part of the character. He made the suit himself, he made the webshooters himself, he fights by himself, he makes mistakes by himself. Spider-Man was never about him being taught how to do everything right. It was about Peter Parker learning how to do things the right way by screwing them up.

I can only hope this is just another character that they will happen to introduce in Spider-Man. It's happened before. If they have a little team-up like Spider-Man is wont to do, then I'll be fine with it. But if this is permanent, this may be even worse than One More Day.

EDIT: I just remembered, Stan Lee made Spider-Man originally as a counter to sidekicks of the day! In any other comic book, a kid that age would have been a sidekick to an older hero, but Stan Lee hated that idea, and so made Spider-Man with that in mind. This is a spit in the face of the original concept.

Ultimate Spider-Man Animated Series Review

Hey guys. Since I have nothing going on in my life, I decided to wake up early, watch the premier of the new Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon, and liveblog it, or whatever the hell it's called. Or just a review. I don't know. This is more than likely to just be a lot of angry words typed with capslock.

Starting out:

We got J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson, which is just amazing. That is ruined by Drake Bell's Spider-Man. Ow. Spider-Man just keeps bitching about being a super hero. Great. Oh god, they have cutaway gags. I really hope that's not a running thing.

He starts narrating to the audience about how Spider-sense works. Aaaand now Nick Fury's in the picture. Nick Fury explains that Spider-Man needs SHIELD training, because otherwise he will suck and that will cause problems for everyone. Uh oh.

I am so sick of these cutaway gags, and Spider-Man talking to the camera. I am being insulted here. He just starts mentioning Uncle Ben over and over. Compared to everything else, THIS is what I find heavyhanded.

Oh great, they gave him a new webshooter. That's what I needed in my Spider-Man, for them to take away everything he earned himself.

Now we get an obvious Evil Norman Osborn scene. He wants to make an army of Spider-Men, right off the bat he explains this to the audience. We don't see him as a businessman, philanthropist, anything, just him in a dark room talking about how much money he can make if he made super soldiers.

Okay, so it looks like Mary Jane is based on the Ultimate comics, Wanting to be a journalist and whatnot. Harry looks to be Ultimate-based too. I guess I have no problems with that.

PETER! STOP TALKING TO THE CAMERA! AAAAAAAAUUUUUGH

MORE CUTAWAY GAGS. PETER YOU GAVE THE WORST REASON TO NOT KICK THE SHIT OUT OF FLASH. There is just no nuance or subtlety to anything in this show. It's just "LOOK I'M SPIDER-MAN RESPONSIBILITY HEY GUYS RESPONSIBILITY"

Oh hey a Stan Lee cameo. That helps my aching heart.

This narration is the laziest narrative device I've ever seen. Instead of finding ways for us to find out who different villains are, we get a goddamn school lesson from Peter. It might not be so bad if I didn't find Drake Bell's voice so annoying.

So the Frightful Four attack, trying to find Spider-Man in the school, hired by Doc Ock who is ordered by Norman. Norman calls off the attack when he realizes the school being attacked is the same one Harry goes to.

Oh god, his banter is so bad. No, no no no no. Okay, so the fight scene itself isn't so bad. There's a villain teamup and he's using their strengths against one another, so that's good. This is just one of the times I wish Spider-Man would just STOP TALKING.

Woah, Aunt May is waaaay young. She looks like a 30 year old with white hair.

SO MANY CUTAWAY GAGS. LAZY LAZY LAZY WRITING.

And now a Spider-Man is talking to Peter through the mirror. Is that okay? It just seems to me that he's getting a little crazy. Of course, that thing outlines every problem he has right now, in the most obvious fashion. With that, Peter decides he needs SHIELD training, for some reason.

He gets onto the Helicarrier, or Triskelion or what have you, but only by using the webshooter Nick Fury gave him.

Oh, the next episode. Might as well keep going here.

Spider-Man is fighting some robots for training, because that's not the most cliched thing I've ever seen. All the while mentioning things that lead to cutaway gags.

Hey, you know what, Aunt May is kind hot in this show. No, really guys.

Oh god. Oh god, a super team. Why the hell is there a team of kid heroes. So there's a kid version of Iron Fist, a Kid Nova, and two other people I don't care about. They talk about how much Spider-Man sucks, and how he can't be on the team. Good! I don't want him to join your stupid team! But I know he will because this show is determined to show how any trace of individualism is futile and will always make you fail. What you need is a super-team and backing from a government agency.

I HATE DRAKE BELL'S STUPID VOICE. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I WISH I COULD HATE IT TO DEATH. He screams and screeches and it never ends.

And now Peter's recapping the last episode, by talking to the camera. He's looking at it.

Mary Jane wants to find Spider-Man, so she can interview him I guess. At least Peter realizes his voice might give him away if he talked to MJ dressed as Spider-Man.

Back on the Helicarrier, we get my favorite thing, Spider-Man taking orders.

Now Curt Conners is apparently an engineer, not biologist. And he has two arms. They talk about a bunch of new "Spider-gadgets" and Spider-Man asks what happens if he refuses the new tech. Fury tells him he doesn't have a choice. That's juuust great. Does anyone else find this to be a bit contrary to the usual essense of Spider-Man? Spider-Man's whole shtick is that he's just one dude who's more or less self-made, doesn't take orders from people, and has the smarts to make it on his own.

WHY IS THERE A GODDAMN MOTORCYCLE. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Oh god, why would they do this to me. He rides the motorcycle out of the Helicarrier, and we get yet another cut of Spider-Man falling down while screeching like a goddamn banshee. Why do they make him scream so much.

WHY DOES THE MOTORCYCLE HAVE WEBBING. AT WHAT POINT DID SPIDER-MAN EVER NEED A FREAKING MOTORCYCLE. THERE'S A REASON THE SPIDER-CAR IS A GIANT JOKE.

So there's a giant pointless "action sequence" where he runs around on his motorcycle a while and screams the whole time. The new team saves him and introduces themselves. Iron Fist, White Tiger, Power Man, and Nova.

Spider-Man, stop talking about responsibility. I get it, that's your thing, stop talking about it. Auuugh, he doesn't want to join a team because other people might get hurt? No, he shouldn't want to join a team because SPIDER-MAN IS FREELANCE.

So he gets captured, which will only go to show how much he obviously needs to be on a team. Yeah, the Frightful Four mention that's there's more of them than there is of him, and proceed to beat the crap out of him. So he screams more. Then the super-team shows up and we all learn about the power of teamwork.

Then, because the plot demands it, Spider-Man joins the team and everyone's happy. Uh oh. The super team is now his classmates. And Agent Coulson of SHIELD is the new principle. So Nick Fury can "Keep an eye" on Peter. Then the episode ends.

So let's go over what's wrong with this show: Talking to the audience, a complete lack of subtlety in any form, the horrible cutaway gags that make this worse than Family Guy, the lack of any good banter from Spider-Man, and the general themes of the show. Usually with Spider-Man, the fact that he's self-made, that he's a loner more or less are main themes. Sure, there'll be a teamup now and then, but nobody trained him, nobody tells him what to do. He didn't work for the government, he worked for the people, just trying to save people when he could. The new show seems to be about how Spider-Man can get all his training, technology, and orders from SHIELD. The whole direction of the show is one I'm not comfortable with.

Oh, and THE GODDAMN MOTORCYCLE. ACFHJKLSDH W DEFENDER AL:fjoaf

Amazing Spider-Man: New Trailer

Holy shit guys I just saw the newest Amazing Spider-Man trailer.



It looks amazing. And I mean that sincerely. Let's look at it play-by-play.

0:22-0:24; Yes, that is a mechanical webshooter. YES A MECHANICAL WEBSHOOTER!! Things are looking up already.

0:33-0:40; This is probably the brightest spot in the trailer for me. He quips! He actually quips! I mean, there's no evidence that he keeps this up for the rest of the movie, but dammit, I want to believe! That's the only way to keep this movie from being too Grimdark.

After that, we get general clips of his parents and something hidden from him, which looks to me to be Ultimate influenced. Honestly, I'm all for that, as long as it doesn't bog the movie down too much and it's still about Peter. You can see Curt Conners and his transformation into the Lizard, from what looks like Peter's contribution to the formula. This will really help the "Responsibility" theme that's sure to be present, since Peter actually will be, in a sense, responsible.

Then we cut to scenes of cops trying to take down Spider-Man. This, although it might seem like too dark a turn, I am actually for. Again, it's Ultimate influenced, but as far back as the Stan Lee written stuff, the cops have been trying to arrest Spider-Man. The situation can be dire like that, as long as Peter still has a light at the end of that tunnel. I wrote about this earlier in my Spider-Man tribute post, that it's not about how dark things get around him, it's how he doesn't succumb to it. If the filmmakers had that in mind, then this storyline is sure to pay off well.

What I really like is that we see physical evidence of Peter being smart. In the other movies, it was really just implied that he was smart, what with the college and all. In this one though, we've got the webshooters he actually creates, and that cliche big chalkboard scene. This is indicative of his character, I hope, and assuages some fears I had from earlier trailers. Before, it looked like he was just a loser skateboarder, instead of a loser nerd. Now, from this we can see he's not the stereotypical pocket-protector nerd, but he's still got intelligence that actually helps him as he goes into superheroics.

Also, though this is more technical than story-oriented, the film is in 3D, but they filmed it in 3D, so we won't get the usual washed out colors you get with films that were post-translated into 3D. Compare: Cameron's Avatar to Shyamalan's The Last Airbender. So I don't expect any detriments caused by the 3D.

All in all, I am excited. This trailer did was it was supposed to do, and make me really want to see this movie. Of course, I must note that I've been fooled by a trailer before. Specifically, the one from Spider-Man 3. I'm sure if they made the same movie that trailer portrayed, it actually would've been good. So though I'm a bit cautious, most of what I feel for this movie right now is excited enthusiasm.

All-New Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #1

Hey everybody! Now, I'm sure you all remember the whole Death Of Spider-Man thing right? Yeah. So he died. After that we got Ultimate Fallout, which was everyone being sad because he died, but one issue, #4, showed what press releases revealed as the new Ultimate Spider-Man. All you saw was his face in that issue, but newspapers and the like covered it like crazy, all talking about Miles Morales, the African American/Hispanic Spider-Man. Finally his debut issue's come out, so it's time for:

Comic Review: All-New Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #1

Our comic begins, apparently, eleven months ago, in what seems to be Norman Osborn's lab. Not the explody one, I mean a new functioning one. Somehow. I'm not really sure when this is set. Anyway, he's talking to his new scientist, Dr. Markus, about the myth of Arachne, and blah blah first spider. And so he explains that it was he who created Spider-Man, but they didn't keep adequate logs so they can't reproduce it. Wait, so Norman knows who Spider-Man is, but he's not on the run from the law because he killed people as a giant green fire guy? When did he set up another lab? Nobody wants to answer these questions. Norman lets Markus know what happens if you break the NDA.

While Dr. Markus is distracted, one of the test spiders escapes. I WONDER WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN. Next they show a front page of the Daily Bugle, likely as a recap, which says that Norman Osborn has been revealed as a giant monster who is now in SHEILD custody. So I guess we're to assume this is before he went all crazy and died killing Peter Parker? That'll probably never be adequately explained.

We cut to a shot of an old, decrepit Osborn Industries building, and then someone scaling the wall. So, I guess they jumped ahead a bit? No idea when this takes place in relation to the last Ultimate Spider-Man title. But yeah, the burgler is revealed to be blue-Deadpool.

As he's stealing stuff, the escaped spider climbs up his leg and into the bag. No biting, apparently. He just wanted a ride. The guy leaves.

We then cut to Brooklyn, and some random people I don't care abo-- Wait, these are the protagonists? Awww.

So they go to the lottery and, of course, Miles is picked. Who expected anything else.

Anyway, Miles decides to go visit his Uncle Aaron. Uh oh. I don't expect good things for his future. Anyway, the uncle decides to go get popsicles, leaving Miles with his suspiciously familiar bag. (THE UNCLE IS BLUE DEADPOOL.) A spider crawls out of said bag, and shows all of us that Miles is not the brightest kid.

The spider bites him, which affects him a bit faster than it did Peter.

When Miles wakes up, his dad gets there, thinking that his uncle did something. As they argue, Miles flees. After his dad passes right by him, Miles notices something weird.

Now, I didn't like the fact Peter had to die in the first place, so anything that comes after wouldn't really sit well with me. I don't really have any idea when this is set in the Ultimate Universe, where before everything was pretty coherent as to time. Then they felt the need to shoehorn the same origin story for this new guy, even though it's incredibly unlikely and is completely unnecessary. Plus, he's like, 13. If I wanted a hero that young I'd be reading Power Pack. Oh, and apparently his Spider-powers include a camouflage that also somehow affects his clothes. No doubt they'll be giving him organic webs, because they can't come up with a reason to give him mechanical ones. I don't have high hopes for the series, in storyline or in popularity. Everyone's going to get it because it's got the new Spider-Man(!) but once people actually read the damn thing and the quality doesn't match up at all to the old Ultimate Spider-Man, they'll stop buying and Marvel won't know what to do.

I feel a bit betrayed by Bendis, but honestly I'd wager he was forced to write this by the higher ups, namely Quesada, my nemesis. I really hope the whole thing wasn't his idea, because I don't know if I can believe Bendis would do that to me. The art's... not bad, but they kept using the weird newsprint dots for the background when, really, in comics these day, you can just use a solid color and it's fine. That might just be the style of the colorist, and not the penciler, but I'm not sure.

Also: note, this and the rest of the Ultimate comics are coming out with new #1's at the same time all the new DC reboots are coming out. I would say, "Well played, Marvel." except it's really not all that well played. Just kinda copycat. At any rate, that was your new #1, and this is the W Defender.

Avengers Vs. New Ultimates #4

Along with the Ultimate Spider-Man portion of the Death of Spider-Man story, they've started another series, Avengers vs. New Ultimates, written by Mark Millar, who wrote the original Ultimates and Ultimates 2, before Jeph Loeb took over in Ultimates 3. The New Ultimates are pretty much the same as the old Ultimates, meaning Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, and Giant Man. The Avengers are Fury's team that he formed shortly after Ultimatum, when Captain America went rogue for a short period of time.

Comic Review: Avengers Vs. New Ultimates #4

In the previous issues, the Ultimates found a horribly mutated attempt at a Chinese super soldier, along with intel that said it was Fury who sold the super soldier secrets to the Chinese. They proceeded to try to find him, while Fury brought the old gang back together, with members like War Machine, Blade, and the Punisher. Inevitably, they have a battle which is brought to New York, and makes up the giant explosions on the bridge that Spider-Man saw. Last issue, the Punisher had his sights on Captain America, but Spider-Man jumped in the way, being shot himself. This issue opens with Spider-Man laying on the ground.

He's not very observant, is he?

Nick Fury is then shot, as SHIELD men rappel down, and point their guns at the Punisher, who gets all crazy.

Captain America proceeds to carry Spider-Man, while praising him in a direct contradiction of their conversation in Ultimate Spider-Man. Of course, I guess Spider-Man saving his life gave Cap a new perspective. Nick Fury, even though he's on the ground and is all bleeding, smiles, because his reinforments have arrived, meaning War Machine, who smashes into the bridge and breaks it into a million tiny pieces. Spider-Man manages to cling to the side and pull himself back up, while everyone else falls in the water below.

Meanwhile, in Manhattan, we see Blade punch the hell out of Black Widow, and afterwards he is chased by Giant Man. Because the traffic there is murder, he has some trouble catching him, so Iron Man just kinda rams into him.

Carol Danvers, after regaining consciousness, finds Black Widow next to her. Don't worry, now that she's back in the game, she'll get everything under contr--

Uh. Guess that's the end of that.

At the White House, Dr. Gregory Stark, Tony Stark's brother discusses the reasons Fury would betray the country, citing his need for power. Since Carol Danvers is currently, ahem, out of commission, the president names Dr. Stark as head of SHIELD, so he heads to the Helicarrier.

Back at Tony Stark's pad, he's barfing in the toilet, and he comments a lifetime of alcohol abuse made oral chemotherapy easier, since he's already used to vomiting every morning. Cap helps him up, and they talk with Black Widow and Thor in the living room. Stark mentions to Thor that he remembers the arrangment they made.

Yes! Finally! For those who don't know, Thor used to talk like a normal guy, but suddenly, in Ultimates 3, for no reason, Thor started talking Shakespearean like his mainstream counterpart, and this continued into Ultimatum. This was entirely Jeph Loeb's doing, who really has no idea how to write for the Ultimate Universe. This is why I love Mark Millar: He both fixed the problem and highlighted it by having the other characters in the series recognize that it was stupid so they fixed it.

Anyway, they get to the topic of Nick Fury, and how it's still surprizing that he was selling out state secrets for the past 15 years, but Black Widow doesn't believe it, and is sure that someone's setting him up.

On cue, we cut to the Helicarrier, where Fury and Dr. Stark are talking about the Helicarrier's design, when Fury drops this bombshell.

Gregory reveals that he's the one who's been sending out the super-soldier secrets, but he's actually been sending them to the pro-government rebels. How devious. Turns out this was all so Greg could become leader of SHIELD, as part of this weird sibling rivalry thing Tony and Gregory have. As a final act, Ol' Greg orders his men to kill Fury.

Mark Millar, what can I say about you? This comic is actiony, but more than that it's hilarious! Millar really tends to bring dark comedy into places it probably shouldn't be, but I'm either glad or sickened by it. Seeing as the Ultimates are his creation, he writes them best. Or at least, better than Jeph Loeb, that goddamn piece of- anyway, I enjoyed reading, so if nothing else, this whole Death of Spider-Man thing is good for some ol' Millar action. This is the W Defender, and this ends Millar Time.

The Death of Spider-Man (Ultimate) Part 1

Ultimate Spider-Man. I used to love this series. It was the first comic I seriously followed, and one of the only ones of which I've read every issue. Brian Michael Bendis still writes to this day, but the original artist, Mark Bagley, was replaced with Stuart Immonen in issue #111. I considered this a slight drop in art quality, but that's only because Bagley is my all-time favorite Spider-Man artist, so no big deal. Then, around issue #133, the Ultimate comics crossover Ultimatum happened, leading to a rebranding of the series as Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man and restarting the numbers. The art was taken over by David Lafuente, giving us comics like the last one I reviewed, Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man #13. Although Bendis remained the writer, I noticed there had been problems. He seemed to forget how to write female characters, instead making their entire personalities revolve around how much they want to date Peter. If Gwen Stacy were in this comic, you would see. Anyway, let's begin.

Ultimate Spider-Man #156

Now, you'll see on the cover there, the banner "Death of Spider-Man" looking all ominous at the top. This is the newest Ultimate crossover which will end in, I assume, Spider-Man dying. I can't see much of a point to this, seeing that Spider-Man is the only popular Ultimate title, and killing it off would just be bad business. Of course, I guess they need to start these crossovers to get people to buy the comics before they quit in disgust. The other title incorporated into this event is Avengers Vs. New Ultimates, which may only be good in that Mark Millar, the writer of the Ultimates 1 and 2 as well as Kick-Ass, is writing it. You can usually trust Millar.

So, our comic begins with the title, Death of Spider-Man, again. Guess they really want to hammer that in. I imagine next issue will just forgo the cover art and replace it with the words, "Spider-Man Is Going To Die!"

So anyway, we see our good friend, Carol Danvers, the current director of SHIELD. She is talking to Norman Osborn, who is both alive and naked.

He should, by all means, be dead, considering he was shot in the head by Danvers after he killed his own son, Harry. Are we gonna get an explanation for this? No?

Uh, okay. We then cut to Peter and Mary Jane, who are dating again. There really wasn't any reason for them to be not dating, except maybe that Bendis decided to change things without a good reason for doing so. They more or less bring up that fact when Peter says he can't think of a reason why they broke up. Way to write yourself out of that jam, Bendis. Anyway, Peter tells her about how J. Jonah Jameson, after figuring out Peter's secret identity, and then surviving being shot in the head, decided not to out Spider-Man, and instead give Peter a job wherein he could go fight crime whenever. How convenient.

Their conversation is interrupted, however, when Peter's phone starts ringing. He doesn't pick it up, though there's a very creepy reason he should.

The uh, guy outside is Steve Rogers, Captain America. Previously, the Ultimates agreed to train Spider-Man, so he stops being such a liability. I'm pretty sure that was the plan before, when Nick Fury was in charge, but with Danvers as the head honcho I guess it needed to be reconsidered. Cap tells Peter to meet him at a cemetary in 15 minutes.

We cut to SHIELD Headquarters where Norman Osborn is being held. A psychiatrist is talking to him. Osborn apparently doesn't take therapy well, because he decides to explode everything,

He turns, again, into his Green Goblin form, which in Ultimate is a giant green fire demon. He breaks out the rest of the Ultimate Six, most of whom we haven't seen in over 100 issues.

They smash out of the detention center, and Electro helicopters them out.

Spider-Man arrives at the cemetery, and Captain America is waiting for him. Cap lectures him about death, and how Spider-Man doesn't seem to care enough about not-dying. This speech seems really unnecessary. I mean, Ultimate Spider-Man isn't the most responsible of heroes, but he's not stupid. He takes serious situations seriously, he just makes jokes so he doesn't get too scared to do anything. Anyway, Cap's chastising is interrupted by a call by Danvers, about the security breach at the Triskelion, and that Fury's team has gone renegade and is attacking the city. Captain America leaves, telling Spider-Man he can't come.

Back with the Norman Osborn Fun Times Gang, they've crashed the helicopter, and went into some building through the window.

They see the news covering the fight between the New Ultimates and the Avengers on a bridge, and Norman takes it the wrong way.

Well, actually, if you take "God" to mean the creator of that universe, Brian Michael Bendis, it makes perfect sense. This is just happening because Bendis wants it to. Maybe when Osborn died he broke the 4th Wall and saw through the panels or something. We see Spider-Man on the scene, and he can only watch the giant explosions coming from the bridge. He gets a disturbing call from Mary Jane.

And that's the end. Now, it all seems very climactic, but why is it happening? Osborn was brought back to life with nary an explanation or even tiny excuse. It's just, "Hey, you're alive again."
"Yep, guess I am."

I love the fact that Bagley is back to drawing this, but the writing just doesn't match up. Spider-Man's not going to die now, just like he didn't die during Ultimatum when they teased us with the fact that he went missing. It's so obviously a ploy to get more readers with a storyline that honestly, wasn't foreshadowed at all and has very little impetus to begin with.

Then there's how Bendis stuck MJ and Peter back together, as if he wanted to hastily bring the status quo back to the good old days when Bagley was drawing. I didn't think it was possible, but I think after all these years of writing Ultimate Spider-Man, he's just running out of ideas. I'll have to read the rest of this storyline to make sure, but if my fears are correct, this will just be trite and predictable.

Ultimate Spider-Man #13

Once again it is time for some Spider-Man, but this time, it's of a more Ultimate flavor.

Comic Review: Ultimate Spider-Man 13



Ultimate Spider-Man is set in an alternate universe that retells Spider-Man, from his origin onwards, but with things a bit different each time. It started as a way to get new Spider-Man fans that didn't want to deal with 40+ years of continuity. So they've gone through most of the storylines, and there was even an Ultimate Clone Saga. It was going good until the Ultimate line got its first crossover, Ultimatum. The basic story in that was that Magneto went crazy because he thought his kids were dead, so he messed with the earths magnetic field, and caused all kinds of crazy shit to happen, like flooding New York City. Point is, NYC was destroyed, and all kinds of shit was messed with. The main change in Spider-Man was that Peter, who had previously been dating Mary Jane, was now dating Gwen Stacy. That, and Johnny Storm from the Fantastic 4 and Iceman from the X-Men started living in Peter's house. This one is a bit after the big cataclysm happened.

In the last comic, Peter had been knocked out by who looked like J. Jonah Jameson, who then went on to change and take on Peter's persona. So basically, we get a whole "Chameleon has stolen Peter's life" storyline going on. Just before, Chameleon discovered that Peter was Spider-Man, and got a big ol' grin on his face.



We start with this guy testing out Peter's stuff, and calling him stupid at every opportunty. At that point he attempts webslinging.



After that bit, we cut to Peter and Jameson tied up in some warehouse. After a bit of banter, Jameson catches on to who Peter is really quickly. Which kinda makes it weird that he never noticed before. I guess he never really thought about it before? At any rate, we then cut to a bank, where somebody is holding hostages. Then the person bursts out.



We then get a little montage of his crime spree, going around, stealing stuff, money poking out of bags, all of that. He calls his associate at the warehouse, telling them how much money he got robbing banks as Spider-Man, and that they don't need Jameson anymore.



So they go into the warehouse, and we finally get a good look at... her?



That's when things get weird.



And unpleasant.



Seeing Spider-Man's recent crime spree on TV, the crew at Aunt May's house decide they need to do something.



Next issue, I assume we'll get some Human Torch and Ice Man vs. Chameleon Spider-Man. This issue was pretty good, but I still can't get over the drawing style. This guy's been drawing USM since Ultimatum, and his drawing style is a bit cartoony. Personally, I still like Bagley, but he's been on DC for a while. Bendis is still writing, so that's all good. Thing is, there are only so many times you can have the impersonating Spider-Man theme without it getting stale, and last year there was a whole Chameleon thing in ASM. Well, at least in having two there's a bit of a fresh spin on the concept. In any case, I still enjoyed it, and until next time, this is the W Defender.

Shattered Dimensions: Final Dimension

Yeah! The final dimension! Awesome! It's probably Spider-Carnage! Or Zombie Spider-Man! Or--

Aw, dammit.

Yeah, the final dimension in Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions is Ultimate Spider-Man. Only there's a twist, he's wearing the Venom Symbiote. For those who don't know, Ultimate Spider-Man was a separate comic line, remaking Spider-Man's origins in a new universe without the bounds of all those years of continuity. Apart from that, it's more or less the same as Amazing Spider-Man. I mean, he doesn't have any new powers, he's just a teenager, which is why I suspect they added the symbiote.

Thing is with the symbiote, in Ultimate continuity, the Venom Symbiote turns whoever wears it into a monster who eats people. Spider-Man wore it on only two occasions, the first of which was very short, and the second of which was ended prematurely when the Ultimates came to kick his ass because he was eating people. Point is, they had better have a very good reason why he's wearing the suit and why he's not devouring civilians.

In a way, I feel like this is a cop-out. The other two dimensions were things never seen in a Spider-Man game before. Noir, with it's 30's style and stealth-based gameplay, and 2099, with it's incredibly tall buildings you can actually jump off of, are completely new to video games. There's already been an Ultimate Spider-Man game, where you could play as both Spider-Man and Venom. Spider-Man was the same as ever, and Venom was a giant brute who attacked with symbiote tendrils and ate people. Any area not covered there I'm sure has been done in Web of Shadows, where there were two suits to use, and the black suit was primarily concerned with killing everything with giant tentacles and other more brutal stuff.

The point I'm trying to make is that I've done this all before as far as Ultimate is concerned. I've swung through the cel-shaded streets, I've killed stuff with black tentacles of death. I was expecting something really left-field or obscure for the last dimension, since they kept it under wraps for so long. Something like Spider-Carnage or Zombie Spider-Man. I suppose it's better than Amazing Spider-Man with a symbiote suit. I'll have to see how further previews go before I'm able to make another judgement.

I knew it!

Yesssss! So, Spider-Man 2099 is definitely in Shattered Dimensions. From what I can see, it's going to be in a fancy shiny future that looks like Tokyo.

So I got that one right, but the question is: What's the last one? It could be Spider-Girl or Ben Reilly, but that seems unlikely, considering gameplay would be very similar to Amazing Spider-Man. Hopefully they'll reveal the last one soon.

Comics Bought on 7/29

Here's what was on the shopping list today, for your comic-loving blog-man.

Deadpool: Suicide Kings #4: Good issue, took a while to come out, but was worth the 4 bucks. Deadpool + Spider-Man = Instant Comedy.

Ultimatum #5: Eeeh. The ending to the big Ultimate Marvel crossover. Basically, every character you liked is dead. I don't really like it, personally. Kinda steers me away from Ultimate Marvel.

Ultimate Spider-Man: Requiem #2: Pretty good, has a new story drawn by Mark Bagley, gives me a little hope for the future of Ultimate Spider-Man.

Amazing Spider-Man #600: One gigantic issue, and thing is, I kinda liked it. I had a few gripes, but overall, a good comic. Also: Mary Jane is back! Woo!

I probably won't make any large reviews, but there is an upcoming Spider-Man post I plan to write at some point, and the Place Vendome review when I get around to it. That's all for now.